Weeding out Perfectionism
It is not uncommon to want everything to run smoothly, however, some people take it to an extreme. Have you ever had friends or family label you as a perfectionist? It may be a badge you wear with pride. Sometimes, you can set standards so high, that they are even impossible for you. If perfectionism hinders your daily activities and goal planning, try some of these helpful hints for overcoming it:
Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously
Do you base every decision on what others may think? While we can consider other people’s opinions, the ultimate decision is ours. Does it matter that all your glasses are turned the same way in the cabinet, or your car has a little ding in the bumper? Most of the things you fret about probably are not even noticed by others.
Take a breath, relax, and be yourself. Stop sabotaging your social life just because you think you think that nothing in your life “measures up”. Give yourself the same courtesy that you would show to others. Instead of focusing on things that are not perfect in your life, concentrate on the blessings you have.
Do Not Use Perfectionism as an Excuse
How many times have you set aside your dreams and used perfectionism as an excuse? You may say that unless you can maintain a 4.0-grade average, you will not go back to school. What about hobbies you have wanted to pursue, or your dreams of traveling? Your excuse may be that if it does not unfold as you planned, then forget it. These façades may hide the fact that you are nervous to try something new.
Write down some of your goals, and break them down into segments. Instead of dreading mistakes, embrace them as a chance to grow and learn. Celebrate each step to your final goal—whether it is perfect or not.
Let Up a Little on Others
Not only do perfectionists put unreal expectations on themselves, but they also apply them to others. Instead of being grateful and considerate of the people around you, do you constantly find fault and express disappointment in everyone? Maybe your parents were perfectionists, and their skewed reality affected you.
Giving people slack does not mean you give up on high standards. It means that you accept others as they are, and make the most of what you have. Offer your children loving guidance and encouragement instead of condemnation and criticism. Your relationship with family and friends will improve.
While you try to overcome perfectionism, remember that it is a process that will not be perfect. If you try too hard to change, then it can be self-defeating. Learn to take life as it comes, and enjoy every step of your journey.
4 Tricks to Keep Perfectionism in Check on a Daily Basis
People who have never dealt with perfectionism might not think it's a terrible problem to have. After all, doesn't being a perfectionist make you more likely to be motivated and successful? On the contrary, perfectionism can make it hard to manage time and deal with everyday problems, as perfectionists often get hung trying to do even the least important tasks perfectly. Here are some tips to help you manage your perfectionism on a daily basis:
1. Prioritize
Perfectionists often spend far too much time trying to perform mundane tasks perfectly. One way to combat this is to prioritize your daily activities before you start working on any of them. List everything you need to do in order of importance, and try to tackle the most important tasks first--this way, if you're finding it hard to let yourself finish a task and move on, at least you'll be spending the extra time on something important.
2. Take Mistakes in Stride
If you're a perfectionist, you know that when you make a mistake, it can feel crippling and derail your productivity for the rest of the day. Making mistakes, however, is the best way to learn, so it's important to learn to take your mistakes in stride. Next time you mess something up, force yourself to analyze what you did wrong and figure out how to avoid the mistake next time.
For example, if you got a few questions wrong on a test, instead of worrying about the lower grade, figure out what you did wrong so you don't make the same mistake next time. It can be easy to get caught up on mistakes as a perfectionists, but try to remind yourself that by taking the time to learn from your mistakes, you can do things more 'perfectly' in the future.
3. Take a Perspective Break
Next time you find yourself panicking over a small detail that isn't perfect, try to take a step back and give yourself a 'perspective break.' This refers to the simple process of asking yourself how important a task really is, a trick that can be surprisingly helpful for perfectionists. By forcing yourself to acknowledge whether whatever you're doing is important in the long run, you'll be able to recognize when you're obsessing over less important tasks and save time for working on the things that actually matter.
4. Get a Friend's Take
Another way to keep your tasks and problems in perspective is to ask a friend for their take on things. If you're convinced that your room just doesn't look right no matter how you arrange it, for example, asking a friend what they think can show you if something is actually off or if it's just your inner perfectionist speaking. For people who find it hard to give themselves a perspective check, asking someone you know and trust for their opinion can make it easier to realize when the detail you're stuck on simply isn't a big deal.
NEXT WEEK’S BLOG - TAMING YOUR PERFECTIONISM
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Actions That Get You Past Your Perfectionism — Set Sail Therapy
