Taming Your Perfectionism

Reward Progress Instead of Perfectionism

If anything proves that too much of a good thing isn’t always great, the constant self-evaluation of a perfectionist is it. In striving to be at their best, people can often fall short of their expectations just by simply burning out while trying to steam ahead. 

Instead of waiting to earn a reward only after every milestone is made, learn to reward each accomplishment as a step on the path towards progress.  

Break It Down to Build Yourself Up 

Struggling with perfectionism can often result in a lot of negative feelings and self-doubt. Evaluating your goals and breaking them down into manageable tasks or smaller accomplishments makes it easier to achieve you short-circuits in the end.

This short circuits sometimes grander expectations of getting everything done at once and teaches the mind to compartmentalize better. These micro-achievements build on each other to increase a sense of completion and comprehension, which can have a direct and positive impact on someone’s self-esteem when they’re struggling to feel they have it all under control. 

In many cases, a goal may be lifelong or ongoing — which means looking at everything as only a work in progress instead of some peak to reach goes a long way towards easing stress. 

Holding Yourself Accountable with Kindness 

There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence, but if that comes at a cost to sanity or self-esteem, then somethings definitely not right. Staying kind and understanding about your own flaws and inconsistencies is key to sharing that generosity of spirit with others. 

When you’re your own worst enemy, you have firsthand knowledge of what makes you feel the most vulnerable and like a failure. While it’s common for perfectionists to engage in harsh and demeaning self-talk, it’s all the more powerful when they can use positive reinforcements instead.  

Look back at your track record for the successes instead of the failures and know when to give yourself a break. 

Stay Challenged Enough to Be Inspired 

For the practiced perfectionist, advice that tells them to chill out and do as little as possible might as well be a punishment. There’s a fine balance to strike between being an industrious individual and a stressed-out mess, though. 

Scheduling each day with a reliable routine and some basic structure helps a lot of people keep a sense of accomplishment going on an everyday level. Plugging in special projects, ideas or necessary tasks into this daily schedule can manage those higher functioning goals working despite any ups and downs throughout the weeks. 

Understanding how to compartmentalize expectations using rotating schedules and a fair measure of time management helps keep you busy but flexible in case changes or challenges to your plan arise.

How to Use Your Journal to Help You Ease Your Desire to Be Perfect

Journaling is one of the most therapeutic ways to change your life. It relieves stress, it helps you gather your thoughts into one place, and it even helps you work through your issues as you simply write them down. Journaling is beneficial in so many ways, but did you know it can also help you with your perfectionist tendencies? Here’s how to use journaling to help you with your perfectionism.  

Spend a Few Minutes Each Day with Your Journal

The most important thing to do here is to spend time each day with your journal. You can draw a picture, tell a story, write out your frustrations, or even focus on detailing your day. Whatever comes to your mind is what you can write down. Now you want to make it a point to go back and read your entries every few weeks to see what you said.  

You might begin to notice patterns. Perhaps you feel stressed so much it changes your handwriting. Does your writing clue you into what is stressing you out? Does your mood change and shift based on certain things you did, said, or bothered you on a specific day? Patterns are what help you learn more about yourself and how to change your life.  

No One Reads This 

Here is where your journal is really going to help your perfectionist traits. No one else ever reads it. It’s all your private thoughts. You can write down about how much you hate when your mother-in-law visits because she is so critical of any imperfections. Over time, you will learn to recognize what sets you off and causes you to seek perfectionism.  

Keep A List  

Your journal is for whatever you want to use it for, but keeping a list in your journal is a nice way to learn more about yourself and help with your perfectionism. Keep a list of things you really want versus things you really need. Do you see a connection? Sometimes seeing what you need in life versus what you want in life helps you realize it’s all right to settle for your needs and work on your wants. This helps your goals, and it helps you overcome your perfectionism.  

The purpose of a journal is to help you get your thoughts out of your mind and onto paper. Sometimes that’s enough to calm you down and talk you off the ledge that’s bothering you. Other times it is not enough, and sometimes it takes more time. Perfectionism comes from a place of not feeling in control of certain aspects of your life so you look for other areas of your life in which you can control. Journaling can help you identify these problems and work on changing your life.

Learn More about Therapy for Low Self-Esteem and Perfectionism by Clicking Here

If you’re finding yourself stressed, overwhelmed, anxious please feel free to email/call me for a free, no obligation, consultation.

Remember, you deserve to have the life you want!

heather@setsailtherapy.com 317-648-9295

Actions That Get You Past Your Perfectionism — Set Sail Therapy