Quiet Your Inner Critic
We’ve all heard it — that inner voice that speaks up whenever we’ve just messed up. Sometimes, your critical inner voice tells you what you should have done but didn’t. Other times, it reminds you of something you did that you could have avoided. It’s easy to beat yourself up over your shortcomings and failures. Your inner critic is attempting to protect you, but like an overprotective parent, it’s causing more harm than good. Criticizing yourself only serves to make life more challenging. It also robs you of options and puts limits on your life.
Your inner critic provides information, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen. Your inner critic is relentless. It’s active from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep. It’s even active in your dreams!
How can you quiet that voice before it destroys your self-esteem and confidence? Follow this 6-step process:
1. Analyze the criticisms. Point by point, what does your inner voice say? Jot it down so you can reflect on what you feel you’re doing wrong. One by one, go through the points and ask yourself, “Is this really valid?” If so circle it. If not, cross it off your list.
2. Recognize the truth. Your inner critic is just a manifestation of your fear. Its sole purpose is to stop you from harming yourself. However, it’s like a scared child. You tell yourself that you’re an idiot or that you can’t do something to have an excuse not to expose yourself to failure. Figure out when the criticisms began. For example, if you say to yourself, “You’ll never be successful at anything,” take time to resolve why you feel that way deep down inside.
· You’ll likely discover a time when an authority figure was overly critical of you. Unfortunately, uninformed adults can devastate the self-esteem of little kids around them when they use negative, accusatory, or demeaning words directed at them.
3. Let it go. Release any negative remarks from your repertoire that stem from those early experiences. Why? Because they simply hold no validity for you now.
· They may have come from a mixed-up, unhappy, or otherwise unskilled adult who was unaware of the impact of their words. Don’t let your inner voice keep repeating these false criticisms! They’re untrue. Take an active stance to discard them.
· Release yourself from the unhealthy mantras of your history. Give yourself permission to let go of any negative statement that prevents you from moving forward and being successful in life. Empower yourself by omitting this negativity from your life.
4. Acknowledge that self-criticism can be damaging. If you continue to repeat the negative statements, it can be crippling to you and even block your path on your journey to the life you deserve.
· Realize that no one can function well when being told constantly that he cannot persevere and rise above his struggles.
· Running yourself down emotionally isn’t the answer to anything.
5. Counter your critical voice with your supportive, caring self. What would you tell a friend? Would you judge a friend as harshly as you judge yourself? What would you say to them in a similar situation? What would you say to your child? There’s no reason not to treat yourself just as kindly. Be a friend to yourself. Instead of thinking, “I won’t be good at swimming,” think, “This is a good opportunity for me to work on learning something new. I’ll embark on this adventure with an open mind.”
· Embrace a more encouraging part of you that speaks positively.
· Designate your supportive, caring voice as the one in charge. You can learn to be your strongest supporter.
6. Stay focused. Rather than allow your critical inner voice to get the best of you, continue with your plan full speed ahead. You can challenge the validity of any criticism simply by continuing with your efforts to accomplish your desires.
The inner critic in your head limits your life and your opportunities. Remember that your inner critic is no different from a child afraid of the dark. It isn’t rational. You don’t have to listen. Take control of your inner talk and lift yourself up. Quieting your critical inner voice is one of the wisest things you’ll ever do. When you apply this process, you’ll discover a more serene, happy existence along your incredible journey of life. Go ahead and get started now! You deserve it.
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If the inner critic won’t calm down and it’s impacting the quality of your life it may be time for professional help. Please feel free to email or call me for a free, no obligation, consultation. Remember, you deserve to have the life you want!
heather@setsailtherapy.com 317-648-9295.
